Friday, June 3, 2005

Upside Down--Boy You Turn Me (21:42 ADT, The ShanMonster)

My day is up and down like a trollop's breeches.

I suppose it's because of a sneak attack of womanhood. My hormones are freaking out on me, and everything's setting me off this evening. Today is casual day, so I wore my cycling shorts and a company tshirt to work, only to find out my shorts aren't regulation casual, despite being an appropriate length. Apparently, cycling shorts are too casual to be casual.

I guess I really do have to start carrying a wardrobe around with me. Sigh...

And then I found out that my that my request for time off for the Evolve gig was turned down. I've been turned down for every week-long vacation request I've made. This makes three lost performance/training opportunities, and it's really wearing on me.

But then, one of my supervisors came around raising money for the cancer society with the usual 50/50 draw. I bought a few tickets, and much to my happiness, won! So now I'm about $40 richer. Woohoo! I went and put it in my savings account, where I've been putting my spare money since I started this job. I've got a whole $150 saved up. Not much, but it should finance a few instructional DVDs or a dance workshop down the road (a workshop I will undoubtably not be able to get the time to attend!).

On my breaks, I've been working on modifying a few dance combinations. I still haven't tried them to music, but I think I have something interesting worked out.

I feel a bit weird plotting out dance this way. I much prefer to let the music guide my movement, rather than to fit pre-manufactured movements to music. Still, it's an exercise in mini-choreography that my brain can probably use. I tried adding poi to the combination today, but that is very tricky. VERY tricky. The combination involves a lot of quick directional changes, and I'd have to experiment to see what I could do which wouldn't look awful and/or thwack me in the skull.

So what is all this dance practice, education, and drilling doing for me? I don't get opportunities to perform. I guess I just have to content myself with knowing that if I could get the opportunity to dance at a good venue, that I'd wow the socks off my audience.

It's a pretty meagre reward.

Thursday, June 2, 2005

Playing With Fire (18:00 ADT, The ShanMonster)

The other night, I had an early shift, so I was able to get home before midnight. It was a beautiful night, so I grabbed f00 and we went for a walk. I brought my poi with me, and we headed downtown. I showed him my new trick of kicking the poi for directional changes, and then I was suddenly struck with a serious case of the munchies. I stopped spinning my poi and carried them dangling at my side, and we made a beeline for a pizzaria.

Suddenly, I heard a boy yell, "Hey! You with the poi!"

I turned and saw two scruffy and friendly lads who reeked of gas. Their equipment was as scruffy as they were. One had two hafts of heavy chain, and the other carried an unlit fire staff. Bits of gas-soaked rags were tied to their staff and chain. They asked me to show them some poi tricks, so I did a few. The boy holding the enormous bits of chain was impressed. He had just assembled his "poi" that day, had never tried them before, working them with fire that evening. That would explain the scorch marks on his clothing.

He asked to try my poi, and so we traded. His chains were tied onto looped and greasy bandanas. The other end of the chain was unweighted. I spun them cautiously, and found them unwieldy. The boy was really enjoying my poi. I think he may make himself some new ones based on mine. They're a heck of a lot easier to use!

These guys were really friendly, and I guess they performed at Evolve last year. Maybe I'll bump into them a few more times this summer. They seemed really nice, if a bit strong-smelling.

After I nabbed my precious slice of pizza, f00 and I wandered down along the green. He took the poi from me and started spinning them. Bear in mind that he rarely uses them, and so isn't exactly masterful. What he did next made me thrill with schadenfreude: he double-bomped himself in the nads.

For a moment he stood there with mouth agape in shock, and then he began to waddle like a duck, holding the poi in front of him. "Take these," he said hoarsely. "Take them before I hit myself again."

Too Many Links, Too Little Time (12:25 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Link dump time!

Tarzan Rubberband: Strangely compelling music video. The end eats my brain.

25-pound tumor wrested from Berkeley man's liver: It would have been more exciting if the word used had been "wrestled" instead of "wrested," still, I'm fond of the line "It looked like a 20-pound turkey sitting in there."

The Traffic Cone Preservation Society: Right (thanks, Erin).

NLT Metal Bible - Cross Design: Is it just me, or is this reminiscent of Madonna's Sex?

Judge: Parents can't teach pagan beliefs: Freedom of religion, as long as it teaches about Gawd.

Chicken that crossed the road gets out of jaywalking ticket: What happens when there aren't any real crimes to fight. I can't imagine Batman collaring a chicken.

Modified Penis: Definitely NSFW. Willy owner inserts a vibrator and other geegaws into his wiener. Sexy it is not.

The Beta Phallic Logo Awards: Bad graphic design, or just pervy viewers? You be the judge.

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Too Short (17:27 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Hey, f00dave!

Guess who won the free night stay in the jacuzzi suite?

That would be me.

It makes up for the little aside I got for wearing a scandalously-short skirt. Apparently, I should have gone with the shorts. Shorts, skorts, and scooters (don't ask) are allowed to be 8 knuckles above the knee, but skirts can't be shorter than 4 knuckles above the knee. I hate arbitrary rules.

I guess I need to go shopping for skirts and shorts, otherwise, I'm going to be very hot and miserable all summer. Ugh.

Maybe I'll just bike up in whatever I want, and leave a pair of pants and a shirt in my locker.

In other news, two packages came in the mail today. We finally received our package of BPAL perfume oils. I'm currently wearing Red Queen, which smells delicious in the bottle, and like an oil painting studio on me. My body chemistry messes perfumes up. Spooky smells like burning dust on me. Salome smells good on me, though!

I also received my copy of the Bellydance Superstars at Folies Berges. Unfortunately, just because a DVD says it will play in all regions doesn't mean that it will. It's PAL format, and I can't view it. Poop. I was really looking forward to this DVD. I'm hoping someone will be able to rip it to a viewable format for me. In any case, I'll be selling or trading this one.

Interested?

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Octopus Review (16:20 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Before I came to work, I was treated to a screening of Octopus. I thought I knew what would make the octopus a giant evil creature as soon as I saw the nuclear sub, but I was wrong.

It's wasn't a mutant octopus due to radioactivity.

It was an mutant octopus due to artificial anthrax and an iron deficiency.

Buh?

The movie is chock-full of all sorts of bad. The obviously fake submarine bounces and crashes and rolls all over the place, but somehow, maybe due to top-secret gyroscopic technology, the interior is always level. And the interior is very large--unlike what I suppose a real sub might have. I can't imagine your typical submarine having nice and high cathedral ceilings, but this one does. I guess it's a deluxe model.

I don't think any of the movie clichés are skipped. We have our token black guy. We have our squabbling heroes. We have a Shakespeare-quoting bad guy. We have a hot chick. And although there's no nudity, there are plenty of gratuitous underwear shots (both men and women, for equal-opportunity leering). And plenty of people die, often for no plot-related reason.

Although the fun parts are very fun, there are far too many badly acted, slow-paced, octopus-free scenes to make the movie very entertaining.

Silly (15:44 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Ugh. I smell piss again. What the hell?

By the way, customers are weird, part something....

Guest: How much is a regular non-smoking room?

Me: Which hotel are you looking for?

Guest: (name of the chain)

Me: And in which city?

Guest: What's all this hassle? Forget it. (click)

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