The ShanMonster Page: September 8

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Another Day, Another Debt (22:02 ADT, The ShanMonster)

I just finished watching the waste of time that is The Craft. I remember going to see it by myself when it came out. When I got home, f00 asked, "What did you think?"

I said, "I think there's going to be a whole lot of Wiccans, all of a sudden."

And lo, I did have prophetic powers, because within a month, the comic shop I managed was filling up with insta-witches, desperate for tarot cards and for comic books featuring pentacles.

I wonder how many insta-Christians came out of The Passion of the Christ. And if there weren't that many Christians, I'll betcha a nickel the theatres were filled with hardcore S&Mers.

Today's dance class went as well as can be expected for a grand total of two students. I sure hope more show up next week. As it stands, I'm currently paying money for the privilege of teaching (studio rental > two students' payments). Mind you, I like teaching, and my current students are eager to learn, but it would be awfully nice to clear some money. Maybe even enough to buy some new underwear. My current ones are looking a bit threadbare, with little bits of elastic snaking their way out of the waistband and leg openings. Sexy, for sure.

That reminds me (the money, not the underwear snakes), I'd like to send out a big thank you to Mr. Fred Lemming. He sent me an eBay gift certificate a little while back. I was outbid on the fish cheongsam, but was able to purchase a copy of The Apple and a couple pairs of funky stockings with it. Thank you so much!

Some day, when I get rich again, I'm gonna get me a pair of these. And on cold days, maybe even these. It's been too long since I've fed my boot fetish.

And now I'm off to do some more reading. The Master and Margarita awaits. And in the morning, so does the gym....

[Marilyn: muscles or bust]

Time To Take Another Dump (00:30 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Before we get on with the links, check out this lame joke (thanks Scootropmeat):

A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reading a magazine, sir."

Pointing toward the young woman in the back seat the cop says, "And what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening! "What's your age, young man?"

"I'm 25, sir."

"And her .. what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

Your Mama: This video just ain't right (thanks, Dmitri).

Best License Plate Ever.

Tattoo wrongness exhibits (NSFW):

I would like to have one of these, although I definitely wouldn't be able to fill out the top half. I also suspect it wouldn't be very good for doing roundhouse kicks in.

And hooray for parasites! Check out these nifty critters: Body-snatching hair worms and tongue-replacing crustaceans. I want one of each!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Time To Take Another Dump (21:02 ADT, The ShanMonster)

One Down.... (21:02 ADT, The ShanMonster)

The interview went very well. I think she loves me.

So I have a couple more interviews to go, this time with upper management.

We shall see....

P-p-p-push It (10:14 ADT, The ShanMonster)

I pushed myself very hard yesterday. I spent a gruelling morning at the gym, and while doing upper body work, noticed my arms are definitely looking bigger. They're not huge, but they're the biggest they've ever been. Of course, I'm seeing a bit more waist sticking out over the waistband of my too-small gym shorts than there was a couple of months ago, so I guess I have to modify my diet a bit more. I think those sandwiches I've been bringing to work lately are a bit richer than they need to be. I pushed myself extra hard with my leg workout. Ball squats do diddly for me, so I've switched over to ball-less squats, squatting to the floor, and jumping up into front kicks. Muuuuch better.

When I got home, I rested for a little while, and then biked to Oromocto and back (about a 40 mile jaunt). Going there was easy. However, wicked headwinds made the return trip exhausting. Even level straightaways felt like substantial hills. There were few downhill sections, so coasting was at a minimum.

By the time I got home, my legs felt like they were stuffed with warm, quivering breast implants.

I'm at work right now. And so far, it's been a typical, restful Saturday. It's my favourite day to work, because the call volume is rarely hectic. There's time to breathe between calls. There's time for me to do a little bit of reading, and there's time for me to do this bit of writing. When I get home tonight, I'll be doing a telephone interview for the position in the Kitchener hotel. I'm starting to get a case of nerves. I've never done a telephone interview, but I'm sure it will be fine. I've certainly had enough experience developing a soothing telephone manner.

Still....

In other news, my dance classes start tomorrow. I want to have a nice, big class. It would be awesome to have 15-20 people, but I'm not counting on it. Here's hoping I get at least eight regulars. If I were the superstitious type, I'd cross my fingers. But that would make it too difficult to type, wouldn't it?

Friday, September 9, 2005

Yet Another Link Dump (20:00 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Gotta clear my browser! Jeeze Louise....

The Last Time America Lost a City: In 1906, San Francisco was destroyed by an earthquake. Here's what happened.

Please, Dave..Don't Let Me Be Locked Out From You!: Oh, the joys of Lysol.

Mouse that soared over East Bay sought--Girl's beloved toy last seen dangling from 2 balloons: "This whole thing is a tragedy,'' Caroline said. "I know it's not a real mouse. I know there are bigger tragedies, like the hurricane. But it's a tragedy to me.'' (No, it's not a real mouse.)

WTF?: Definitely NSFW.

Crouching tiger, hidden donkey: I can't help but rejoice in the schadenfreude.

You probably should not click this (NSFW, of course).

Ancient magic guides Disney design: "When Disney began designing its newest kingdom in Hong Kong, planners decided Mickey's magic wasn't enough for success. The park needed an extra boost from 'feng shui.'" This makes me want to drool on myself a little.

Human Body Art: Interesting conceptual photography (contains nudity).

In other news, I crave these toilet paper dispensers.

[Yay!]

The Dream (11:53 ADT, The ShanMonster)

A tornado is approaching, but it looks peculiar. As it gets closer, I see that it is comprised of plastic baby dolls: the kind which close their eyes when you put them on their backs. The cyclone weebles and wobbles, and the dolls all open and close their eyes in respect to the movement. When the storm passes directly overhead, I see that the eye of the tornado is a giant doll eye. It winks at me, and I wake up.

Thursday, September 8, 2005

That Sounds Right (11:54 ADT, The ShanMonster)

I just asked a customer which credit card she wanted to use, and she answered with, "American Excess."

Ha!

Limited Link Dump (09:25 ADT, The ShanMonster)

At last! A (temporary) reprieve from the otherwise incessant call flow at work!

In celebration, here are a few links I've culled on the very infrequent downtime:

Mystery Bulge in Oregon Still Growing: I don't know about you, but I think it sounds like a good sign to get the hell out of town!

Labrador loses to a squirrel: How embarassing for the dog.

Girl Captures Gator After Watching TV Show: The title is not very good, hmm? I mean, she probably captured it after eating breakfast, after going to school, or after going to the bathroom, too. But it's not everyone who gets to apply what they've learned from Steve Irwin, right?

2004 Digital Photos: Scroll down to look at the sky photography. Wow. Looking at storms like that makes my heart grow huge in my chest. I still want to be a storm chaser when I grow up.

I ended up going to the gym for two workouts, yesterday: the first in the morning for upper body, and the second after work for lower body. I just didn't have the time to fit it all in before work. I upped the weights for my triceps. I expect to start looking like SheHulk anytime now. Heh...

While I was running laps, I looked over and saw my sister doing some stretches at the wall. Her legs have definitely tightened up and are muscular and much slimmer. "Holy crap, Erin!" I said. "Your legs are toned!"

So it is going well for both of us. I hope she keeps up with it!

Oh yes, my dance classes start on Sunday. Let me know if you're interested. The more the merrier....

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