Friday, September 23, 2005

Odious Dance (10:46 ADT, The ShanMonster)

I'm part of a very small, and somewhat fragile, dance community. My classes are small, and when I get the opportunity to travel for seminars, they're rarely attended by more than fifty people. The performances aren't much more popular, and the audiences consist primarily of dancers and their friends and families.

The vast majority of the dancers in this community do straightforward raqs sharqi, whether it's Egyptian style or North American belly dance. A more sizeable minority also dance American Tribal Style dance. And a scant minority--no more than five or six people--dance fusion styles, incorporating raqs sharqi with some other movement tradition. I fall into that latter group.

I am also part of an umbrella organization which ostensibly ties all of us together. It represents the raqs sharqi community in the Maritimes, and hosts events and performances by and for its membership. When they host events, they specify that they will accept no fusion dancers. Oddly enough, they say they will accept American Tribal Style dance, which is definitely a fusion dance, incorporating elements from other cultural dance traditions, such as flamenco and classical Indian dance.

Granted, I wouldn't be able to make it to the next few workshops anyhow. This isn't a sour grapes scenario, but because of time and money constraints. However, I can't help but feel like I'm being singled out for exclusion. I can understand them not accepting non-raqs sharqi oriented performances, but when the foundation of the dance is just that, why would they want to alienate part of their small group? I really don't understand.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Still Not Awake (19:31 ADT, The ShanMonster)

The good news is I had a good night's sleep.

The bad news is it's because I somehow set my clock to go off an hour late.

Well, I did make it to work on time, but I didn't get to have the shower I need or to eat a proper breakfast. So I made do with a hastily gobbled boiled egg at home and a protein bar at work, chased with wax-flavoured hot chocolate from the break room.

I hurried my way up the hill, zooming past a man on a motorized buggy and a spectacular mess of a roadkill seagull. The scooter passed me on the hill. Thankfully, the dead bird did not.

Move All Zig (19:31 ADT, The ShanMonster)

I must soon leave for dance class. But first, I want to clean off my computer screen. Check these out:

Man's static jacket sparks alert: So the guy goes on a job interview, and builds up so much of a static charge that he catches the place on fire. The article doesn't say whether or not he got the job.

Authentically Natural Vaginal Flavour: NSFW, duh!

Spectacular Mammatus Clouds over Hastings, Nebraska: I'm envious of the photographer. I've never seen a sky like this.

Lion Cut: That is one pissed-looking cat. My friend Guylaine's cat gets a similar haircut, but she is proud when she gets it. She thinks she's the cat's meow (thanks, fourcorners).

Force-fed women fight the fat: Feeders and Feedees in Mauritania.

18th Century Dildos: "The dildos of the time were used between women. This sort of behaviour was viewed as an introduction to sex and not as a homosexual act." Possibly SFW.

Puppy swallows 13-inch knife, survives: Well, now.

Yellow Bamboo vs. Reality: "Two Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu practitioners from Australia have stepped forward to challenge their local Yellow Bamboo representative to prove once and for all that no-touch or Chi knockouts are, and have always been, complete and utter bullshit."

Idiot puts a scorpion up in his ass: About as work safe as you'd expect.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Twenty Things About Me (19:31 ADT, The ShanMonster)

1. I can rotate my feet inwards so they point straight behind me.
2. When I was little, I used to wish I had three nostrils so there'd be more boogies to mine and eat.
3. I married the only boyfriend I ever had.
4. I can kick as high as I can reach.
5. On a good day (there are few), I can hold my left foot higher than my head without using my arms.
6. When I grow up, I want to be Vasquez from Aliens.
7. I have a difficult time making friends.
8. Although I'm a total exhibitionist, I prefer to spend the vast majority of my time by myself.
9. I'm usually surprised/wary if someone compliments me.
10. When I was in junior high school, I used to read (and finish) three books each day. Novels got a bit longer and tougher to read when I got older....
11. I used to read books on horseback.
12. I read while I walk.
13. Although I've danced for years in a variety of styles, I can only dance improvisationally. Choreography eludes me.
14. I once rode a billygoat through a barnyard.
15. I more than once rode an enormous pig through a barnyard.
16. I used to live off the land in the Rockies.
17. I suffer from perpetual visual hallucinations courtesy of a bizarre variant of migraine.
18. I think differently from anyone I've ever encountered. Really. I think the migraines may have something to do with it.
19. I feel driven to work out, even though I'd rather lie around in bed and eat salted peanuts.
20. I want to reboot my brain.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

To Those About to Read Links, I Salute You (21:36 ADT, The ShanMonster)

If I don't reboot my computer soon, I'll be able to outrun it. I'll offload my links, and then I'll give the poor silicon critter a break.

Tomasín: La Madre: So very NSFW. Motherhood is special (thanks, g026r).

K & K Mime: Extreme Christian mimes!

The Shitting Duck of France: Voltaire wrote: "Without the shitting duck, there would be nothing to remind us of the glory of France."

Snakes on a Plane: This has got to be the best/worst title ever for a thriller/horror/action movie. I want to see it.

Vanishing Point: How to disappear in America without a trace: Vamoose.

Bunny Yawns: A fleeting event caught on film. Some of them look positively vorpal.

BPAL Pumpkin King: Mind you, I have a bit of a addiction myself, but I can't imagine spending this much money on a bottle of perfume, not even if I was as rich as Croesus.

Baaaaaby Sloth: This picture just makes me happy.

Tiger Pigs: This one just makes me wonder.

Artists erect giant pink bunny on mountain: The creepiest giant art installation I ever didn't see. It gets even creepier here.

... (11:29 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Waa! My headache just sprang up again. At least there aren't any visual effects. Here's hoping the Advil kicks in pronto. And all of a sudden, I'm freezing. Joy.

Here's another dream for you.

I'm running along an old, overgrown dirt road. Hay grows tall between the wheel tracks. I'm running like mad, because I'm being chased by malevolent flying green apples. They have helicopter propellers, and they can fly much faster than I run. But I run nonetheless, and as a swarm of them catch up to me, I dive into the underbrush to escape them. And then I wake up.

Whoa is Me (10:09 ADT, The ShanMonster)

First of all, happy sprogging out of your mom day, Kathryn. I'm glad you made it out!

Secondly, I think you gave me your flu. I didn't know they could be passed through the internet, so I guess it must be some sort of computer virus you gave me. Blargh. I'm all snuffly today, and I had to leave work early yesterday due to an instantaneous migraine. It came from absolutely nowhere. One moment, I'm doing a call, and all of a sudden, there's a big, oily blind spot creeping across my vision. And it got worse by the second.

When I realized I could no longer read anything on my monitor, I had to call it quits. As I was walking home, a car beeped and pulled over. My vision was so screwy I couldn't tell who it was. At first, I thought it was Dmitri. But then I finally realized it was Zed's Mom. How messed up is that that I couldn't tell them apart? Whoa....

The funny thing is that Zed's Mom apparently has curative powers. I spoke with her for a maximum of twenty seconds, and when I looked away, about half of my vision returned. Whoa....

My vision returned completely by the end of the night, but it was still rather murky, like I was seeing the world through dirty glass. Any time I get a "regular" migraine, it makes me that much happier that I have my old enemy under control.

In other news, I had a customer call up today demanding a "Goop" rate. He repeated this demand several times. He meant "group" rate, of course.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Meh (12:28 ADT, The ShanMonster)

Yesterday was full of people. Fusty_cabbages, Sephira, John, Seraph_x, f00dave, and Cynebeah filled my apartment throughout the day. And my dance class had additional people (thank goodness!). Although I'm not a terribly social person, the company was good.

I finished reading George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman and the Redskins. I'm always afraid that the books won't be as good as I remembered, and then I'm filled with the delicious realization that I'm dead wrong. I love the Flashman books. Flashman is such an unmitigated bastard, and I love him for it.

Now I've started on Stephen R. Donaldson's Lord Foul's Bane, which I don't think I've read since 1989. It was one of my favourite books of all time, but now the writing style is a bit too overdone to appeal to me that much. What is with the overuse of words like "mordant" and "verdant," plus all those overblown adverbs, anyhow? Ah well. I guess I'll see if the story can still win me over soon enough.

Ugh. I'm suddenly feeling like total shite. Did frosh plague just catch up with me? I hope not. I don't think I have any sick days left.

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