All the Lies

Well, it's bloody well time I started putting up some of my more creative endeavours on this wondrous dangerous beastie we like to call the internet. Be warned: not all of this stuff is very nice, and if you're under 18, you are being unjustly discriminated against, since legally you ought not to read some of it. Silly law, if you ask me.

The Random Fiction

What you are about to read is fiction. That means, it's all a stack of lies. Nonetheless, not all characters in these stories are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is probably not very coincidental. Malicious gossip is the best sort, don't you think?

And on the Seventh Day He Rested: At my first public reading of this story, I discovered I had inadvertantly pissed off several people in the audience. Good!
Bluebirds: Ah, the tainting of sweet youthful innocence....
Desert's Edge: A sad little story about a sad little girl--the introductory chapter to a stalled novel.
For the Birds: Short and sweet. Bound to make you want to kill me.
Daisy Chain: My first-ever hardcore porn story, and my first story inspired by a roleplaying game. This is the tale of a Malkavian, a space marine, and an alien. Wacky hijinks ensue.
The Froggie: Second-place winner at a sex-themed poetry slam, even though it's prose. My starting-point was "First, I would whisper the coveted name into their ear. (whispering) 'You are my Froggie Doodle Mashy Pie.' I would make sure the frog accepted." What would you have done with such a bizarre topic?
God's Last Blessing: Cain's side of the story.
Going Away: This story won first place in a fiction contest. A copy of the story was on display at an art gallery, and was covertly stolen by a little old lady. Personally, I'm flattered. I was interviewed on the radio about the incident.
Holy Orders: A darkly humourous romp through the mind of a modern-day witch hunter.
I Should've Worn Shades: I used to post regularly to a fiction group called Weird-L. For some obscure reason, this story spawned lots of follow-ups.
Junk Jewelry: I'm afraid I caused a bit of a stir when I read this at an English undergraduate conference. From the scandalized laughter I heard, I guess this isn't typical fictive fare for academia. Good!
Marcus and the Nazarene: Yet another Biblical retelling.
The Model: My first forray into the wet world of erotica. I read this at a graduate level fiction class amidst diametric viewpoints. To some, it is art. To others, it is porn. The funny thing is, most of the men in the class knew exactly which model this story refers to. Some even knew which page of the Victoria's Secret catalogue she was on.
Music: An exercise in minimalistic erotica. It's pretty much a transcription of a dream I once had, but I still don't know if I like it or not.
The Rut: Ever see a moose up close and personal?
Thumbing to Sugar Daddy Oberon: An odd journey to the land of Faerie.
To Fight a God: A reinterpretation of the classic tale of Callisto.
What the Bed Has Seen: Short. Very short. In fact, if you were on the toilet taking a pee, this would probably be absolutely perfect reading material.

The Baubo Stories

I ran out of impetus a few years ago on these stories, but hopefully I'll get that creative spark going again. Bryon, Baubo, Mara, and Howell certainly deserve the attention. By the way, you really ought to read these in sequence. They'll make so much more sense that way!

The Dissonant Poetry

All in all, I heartily dislike just about every poem I read. I've read that a novelist is a failed short story writer, and a short story writer is a failed poet. Somehow, I think that's just sour grapes on the poet's behalf. Regardless, I get the occasional perverse urge to make like a bard. So, here's a selection of my verse!

The Animal Within
Art Show
Mental Flatulence - A collection of late-night doggerel
Morning
Optimistic
Red Flannel and Polyester
Where is My Lemur Wife Tonight?
Whore

The Solitary Play

I've only ever completed one play, but it is a rip-snorter of a one-act for sure. It's been described as a "fairy tale with Tourette's," and although it was only a cellar theatre performance, the critics loved it. I must've done something horribly wrong.

The Virgin and the Horn

Lost?

Are they great, or do they suck big-time? Write me! By the way, all of these stories are copyrighted. Read 'em, show 'em to your friends and your enemies, but do not claim them as your own, or I shall be forced to let my pet chinchillas loose in your computer room. Trust me. You don't want that.