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The ShanMonster vs. the ICQverts

I have not posted my ICQ number anywhere on my site, yet all sorts of people seek me out. I guess it's easy enough to do. So far, I'm the only ShanMonster listed, and I am on the ICQ white pages. Some of these people want to chat because they enjoy my website. Some want to practice their English skills. Some want to spam me with their get-rich-quick pyramid scheme. Some are just lonely, and are looking for someone to talk to. Some want to chide me about differences in opinion. But mostly, they are horny and are looking for free wack-off material.

The first dozen or so times I was messaged with intent to "cyber," I just put these people on my ignore list. But I still kept getting messaged by the terminally horny. So, one fine day, I decided to have some fun with these people. I enjoyed myself immensely and published the results. But, in the spirit of fairness, I decided I really ought to add a warning to my ICQ personal information. The warning reads,

About 75% of the people messaging me don't know a thing about me, and have never even visited my website. Yet somehow, they seem to believe I'll be fascinated by their pre-literate pleas for cybersex. Really, if you are the sort of person who gets off on ungrammatical coupling, the only reason I'll read or reply to your postings is for a cheap giggle. And then I might publish your shortcomings on my website, so beware....

Of course, the average almost-literate cyber-porndog doesn't bother reading this, so I added one more caveat. I leave my ICQ on N/A. My N/A message reads, "No, I don't want to cyber with you" or "No, I do NOT want to cyber with you. I don't care how cute you are, or how many times you inundate me with a/s/l requests. No digital nookie for you!"

But I still get hit on. I therefore have no remorse for the Cverts (ICQverts with the IQ stripped out) who plague me with their messages, and neither should you. Read the transcripts. Read 'em and weep....

The Transcripts

Click Here!