The ShanMonster vs. shico [Monday, December 18, 2000]

shico: wanna cum with me?

ShanMonster: Where are we going?

shico: to bed

ShanMonster: It's not anywhere close to my bedtime.

shico: so where do you wanna go

ShanMonster: I've always wanted to visit the temple to Artemis in Brauron.

shico: and what about making love?

ShanMonster: Artemis wouldn't like that very much.

shico: i dont care about him

ShanMonster: Him? You are confused, aren't you? Artemis is a virgin goddess. The temple at Brauron is probably not the best place to demonstrate you have crotch outties.

shico: tell me about sex

ShanMonster: Where do I begin? Hmmm. How about with the Cult of Cybele? Would you like to hear about what she had her men do?

shico: hello

shico: give yur telephone numb

ShanMonster: Cybele has no use for telephone numbs, or even telephone numbers, for that matter. What she wants are testicles, fresh off the man.

shico: but i want to hear your voice give it to me pls

ShanMonster: If I give you my voice, what will I speak with?

shico: oh dont make me mad

ShanMonster: How could I possibly be making you mad when you don't appear to give a shit about anything I've said so far? I mean, I have a lot more I want to tell you about Artemis and Cybele, but you've expressed no interest. You're hurting my feelings.

shico: lets talk about all you want in the phone

ShanMonster: I've never been in a phone. I don't think they're made big enough for that kind of thing.

shico: do you want to make fun of me

ShanMonster: If you like....

shico: so you are not interested in a horney pharoe

ShanMonster: To the best of my recollection, the pharoahs were really into incest. They were matriarchal, had sex with their sisters, and the resulting children continued the royal family line. Since I'm not your sister, I must respectfully decline your offer.

shico: you also succed to crash my balls

ShanMonster: Oho! So you are interested in Cybele, after all!

shico: sure

ShanMonster: You do realize that becoming a priest of Cybele will mean you will not be allowed into Yahweh's most holy of holies, right? Eunuchs are not allowed into the tabernacle.

shico: shit on your head

ShanMonster: Er, no, thank you. I'm not into scat at all.

shico: on your tits

ShanMonster: I hadn't realized Pharoahs were into poop.

shico: would you give me ur phone or it will be my last message

ShanMonster: Okay. (831)-685-3737 (Note: This is an American sexual harassment hotline number)

shico: you are a lier

shico: it is not a private number

ShanMonster: My privates don't have numbers.

shico: okay bye for good

ShanMonster: Okay, bye! But make sure you go see a doctor about those crushed testes. I'd hate to feel responsible if gangrene set in.

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