The ShanMonster vs. andre [Monday, April 9, 2001]

andre Greetings Lady, well, i must say i like it so much to kneel in front of Women to kiss Their Boots.. would You help me please? do You own any Boots?

ShanMonster: What is this boot?

andre boot is the long foot wear

ShanMonster: Oh! You mean socks!

andre no i mean boots..the leather long shoes

ShanMonster: I don't own any leather socks.

andre they are not socks!!!!!! they are Boots!!!!

ShanMonster: Okay. I'll call them boots if it makes you happy. I'm wearing a pair of boots right now.

andre You dont understand me..havent You ever seen cowboys with long shoes? or horse riders? or motorbike riders? they wear leather Boots.

ShanMonster: My boots are made of a soft, knitted fabric. They're black with sparkles.

andre ok..do they have any hard heels?

ShanMonster: Only when they haven't been washed in a while.

andre so, are heels long and spike?

ShanMonster: Ouch! Only if I step on a nail or something.....

andre please dont kid me ..havent You heard of heel?

ShanMonster: Of course I've heard of heels. They're the round bit at the back of my feet and bottom of my legs, just below the ankle.

andre yes..and Your Boots must have some.

ShanMonster: Yes. My "boots" have heels. They're soft, black, sparkly, and knit. I think they're made of chenille, but I'm not sure.

andre oh no..heels are always made of wood.

ShanMonster: Ugh. I would never want to wear "boots" made of wood. I'd get slivers.

andre ok please wear them and step on me..please

ShanMonster: Great. You want me to have slivers in my feet while I step on you. First of all, I'm not masochistic, so there's no way I'll wear pine socks. Secondly, you live in Turkey and I live in Canada. I'd definitely need some boots made for walkin', because that's a few too many thousand miles to tread to stomp on someone. Hell, I could step on a friend, if I was into that sort of thing. Why would I step on a complete stranger in a distant land?

andre but..if You know me, i m sure You ll like me..i had come several times to Canada..Toronto, Niagara and Montreal.

ShanMonster: Those places are all still about a thousand miles away from where I live. Anyhow, I must take off now. I'm going to go kick people in my karate class.

andre oh no please dont go..it is me who You will kick..noone else..please..wear Your Boots and kick me..please..i beg You

ShanMonster: Tough shit. I only kick people barefoot.

andre You may try me with Your Boots..please..

ShanMonster: I don't think so.

andre are You on the air now?

ShanMonster: No. I'm on a chair, and now I'm off to elsewhere.

andre ok

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