The ShanMonster vs. Raju [Sunday, December 16, 2001]

Raju: raju from atlanta! travelling to canada on the 21st of dec..wanna have some good fun...can afford $250 per visit...would keep everything discreet & confidential.

ShanMonster: Discretion is my middle name, Raju Kumar.

Raju: hey are u there?

ShanMonster: Mostly.

Raju: I like ur home phone number....

ShanMonster: Yeah. It's all full of digits and stuff, isn't it? I think it's pretty cool, too.

Raju: hey honey? where are u from?

ShanMonster: From the throats of bees, I think.

Raju: nope...from the throat of a monster....wat do u think of urself ? to be very great....kick ur butt.

ShanMonster: I must be very great, then. I am quite capable of kicking my own buttocks.

Raju: I WUD LOVE UR BUTTOCKS HONEY

ShanMonster: I have no buttock honey, but I have a jar of clover honey that is beginning to crystallize.

Raju: WOW... I wud like ti lick the dripping honey....

Raju: yesterday the whole night I didn't sleep... was having some good phone sex.....

ShanMonster: I already told you, the honey is mostly crystallized. I don't think it would drip as much as it would eventually plop out of the jar. Why would you want to have sex with a phone?

Raju: did u have some goodtime last night?

ShanMonster: Yes, I guess I did. I watched movies, but one of them was Pink Flamingos and it was pretty darned disgusting.

Raju: she was in a different place.... no problem if its crystallized...I twud melt in the friction that I wud create.

Raju: did u have sex last night or not?

ShanMonster: Why do you want to apply friction to bees' vomit?
No, I didn't have sex last night. But I did watch Divine give her son a blowjob. It was decidedly unerotic.

Raju: wow........i want someone to give me one...I want to feel the flesh & the blood.....

Raju: I want someone to lick mine hard & I want to massage someones clit in my mouth....

ShanMonster: I don't think Divine has a clit. She was a transvestite.

Raju: do u mind if I rub ur vaginal walls with my tongue?

ShanMonster: Yes, I do mind. I just had them painted.

Raju: I was talking about someone idiot? with honey coat? cool...

Raju: looks like u are also a transvetite...I got to be careful..... see u then.bye.

ShanMonster: Why do you think I am a transvestite? I've never yet done the drag king thing.

Raju: the prove urself u are not? wats ur number? trust me..I wud call u.

ShanMonster: (207) 778-9522

Raju: sure I wud call u? which place is this dear?

ShanMonster: This is a sexual harassment hotline phone number based out of Farmington, ME.

Raju: do u ahev to log off if I call u?

ShanMonster: No, I don't.

Raju: thats fine.....

ShanMonster: I hope the phone call proves to be very educational for you.

Raju: def.... I wud call rite away...

Raju: I need to log off...

ShanMonster: I don't think "log" is the correct word in your situation.

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