Jesus Was Gother Than You
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Inspirational Band Names

He's even inspired names of bands! For example:

  • And Christ Wept. Poor guy.
  • Blood of Christ. This is what vampiric Christians sip on Sundays.
  • Blue-Eyed Christ. Hmm. Perhaps this is a touch Aryan, considering how Jesus was Jewish, but who knows what colour eyes a person might have if they were a human/deity hybrid?
  • Christ Analogue. An early form of synthethised church organ, I guess....
  • Christbait. Either this has something to do with being a fisher of men, or else it's some sort of analogy to jailbait. I'm not certain. Are you?
  • Christian Death. Kinda morbid for a name, but oh!-so-goth....
  • Christian Dorge.
  • Christian Plumber. Shitty job, but someone's got to do it? Never mind.
  • Christ Agony. Ow.
  • Creaming Jesus. Sounds like some sort of kinky dessert, actually.
  • Crucifer. Dontcha love it?
  • Crucifixation.
  • Crucifucks. Kinda like that scene from The Exorcist, I guess....
  • Crüxshadows. Didn't the sun disappear for a while when Jesus was on the cross? If there's no light, how can there be shadows? Just darkness. Oh well. I'm just rambling.
  • Dies Domini, aka The Day of the Lord. The Lord is Jesus, I guess.
  • Diesel Christ. The ultra-goth of all long-haul trucks.
  • Doubting Thomas. Okay. So it's not exactly named after Jesus, but Thomas was a skeptical friend of his.
  • Godflesh. Yet another reference to transubstantiation and other Christian vampirism.
  • Golgotha Betrayal.a
  • H. This is the initial of Jesus' middle name.
  • Impaled Nazarene. Ow.
  • Jesus and Mary Chain. This sounds vaguely pornographic, but we already know about the disfunctional family by now....
  • Kittens For Christian. Isn't that CUTE???
  • The Last Days of Jesus.
  • MC 900 Foot Jesus. He's going straight to heaven.
  • Messiah. To the point. I like that.
  • Ministry. Someone's gotta have a preachy band name.
  • Nanochrist. He's just little!
  • Nine Inch Nails. This is the gauge needle Christ used for his great piercing acts.
  • Nine Invisible Ninjas of the Apocalypse. The Apocalypse is Jesus' next big gig. It'll be cool....
  • The Revolutionary Army of the Infant Jesus. Uhh...
  • Saviour Machine. Cyber Jesus?
  • Velvet Acid Christ. This is kinda like a Wal-Mart special, I guess. Can you imagine buying a velvet Christ? Even one on acid?
  • X Propagation. The X stands for Christ. Really.

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