Jesus Was Gother Than You
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What Should the Next Jesus Question of the Month Be?

  • Well, technically, this is a God question, but...The 2 go hand in hand, yes? If God is love, and love is blind, IS RAY CHARLES GOD??
    My opinion is yes, but...
    and, a good arguement for bitchy Christians (that consider themselves to be open-minded) is (and you've prolly already heard this) God is all-powerful, right? ::waits semi-patiently for the BitchyChristy to say "of course he is!":: then, could God himself create an object so big, so immense, and so heavy, that even he himself could not lift it? and then you wait for their brain to implode. You can also milk the question with extra questions so that they get impatient... So, then, God can do anything, right? and so...God can create anything, riiiight? it's worked every time for me.
    --LollyRot

  • Next month's Jesus Question of the Month could be based on something someone once said to me in highschool. He said, "You know what? Jesus DID come a second TIME, Man...and he was at like, WOODSTOCK, Man, and he like, did some bad ACID, Man, and they jailed him, and like, he's still in jail and can't spread the WORD, man."
    So, my question suggestion is, then, "Has Jesus already returned to earth, as was promised [or threatened], and did he return as a Hippie instead of a Goth?" Subsequent questions could be, "What's with Jesus and all this counter culture stuff?" etc.
    --Kellie J. Adan

  • How much longer is Jesus going to put up with you?
    --Russ Knight
    (Ummm... Five more minutes?)

  • If Jesus was a Gothic Punk, what would his favourite band be, and why?
    --Bert Schmid

  • How many fingers did Jesus have?
    Answer: It is believed by many that Jesus had six fingers when put in the tomb. The mark of the beast was created my the number of fingers on his hand. 666 is reputable for being SATANIC. Oh my GOD! RUN TO A CHURCH! Anyway, the left arm, the right arm, and the male sex organ. The three "hands". 666. It all makes perfect sense.
    --Donald Miller
    (Only if he had six testicles. Hmm... Holyorchidism vs. polyorchidism. Makes one think....)

  • Jesus Questions:
    1. If you are a fundamentalist and you got to heaven and you found every one who didn't care about Jesus also there, would you be disappointed? How disappointed? Would you personally condemn someone to Hell for simple disbelief? WOuld G-d? Are you more or less merciful than G-d? Why or why not?
    2. If Jesus was a Jew why is he sending all the Jews to Hell?
    3. Would you allow the patriarch Abraham to babysit your kids?
    4. Who was the most likely candidate in the disciples for a homosexual affair with Jesus? (I know the Matthew book already answered that one)
    5. When Jesus kills his playmates in the Gospel of Thomas or turns them into frogs in the Gospel of Timothy, is this a Christian thing to do? Would Jesus do something like that?
    6. If Jesus is so loving why does he tell people to kill in his name (Luke 19:27)?
    7. Is there anything Jesus said that was worthwhile that wasn't plagiarised from Rabbi Hillel?
    --Tim Lieder

  • Was Jesus Christ a porno star?
    --ph34r

  • If Jesus was a Gothic Punk, what would his favorite band be, and why?
    --Bert Schmid

  • Was brother Jesus really a blood sucker?
    --Jan

  • Maybe something along the lines of : Does the fact that Billy Graham's face looks like a half-rotten potato indicate that Jesus has a sense of humor?

    Or if that's too harsh, how about: Is Jesus flattered when people scream His name during sex?

    Or maybe: Did this Uber-goth share his snakebite with his Dad, and is this in any way related to the creation of the platypus?

    BTW, I just wanted you to know that your page has inspired me to dress as Jesus this halloween.

    --Cassandra, still the Prophet of Herman

  • Who is nailing all that little Jesus figures onto that wood crosses many old christians have hanging in their houses ? And more important - is he proud of his job?

    What would have happened, if the Romans would just have run out of crosses at the time, they wanted to hang Jesus up there? What else could they have hung him up on?
    --Marc Remolt

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