Jesus Was Gother Than You
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What did Jesus like to read?

  • Jesus liked to read the advertisements for crappy merchandise, jobs you have to pay to work, and hired guns in the back of Soldier of Fortune. After all, as the most devout Christian of all time, he must have been right-wing enough to love the magazine, and he heard god talking to him, so he must have been crazy enough. Secondly, since he made his supposed birthday the most materialistic time of year, he must have been really into acquiring useless things, so he would have liked to browse through the ads to make sure he didn't miss something he needed.
    --Green Weasel

  • Was he even literate?!
    He obviously read Homer's epics. Then he wanted to walk on water like Odysseus, saying to himself, hmm maybe that would be fun.
    I'm sure he would have loved reading your page too if it had been around back then.
    --HPearman
    (Aw, shucks!)

  • Porno's, lots and lots of pornos. He liked looking at sixty year old couples with their daughters and hermaphrodites.
    --Jimmy Duluoz
    (Nice email address....)

  • Being an avid model train hobbyist, Jesus was always up-to-date on the latest tech manuals and fanzines. He was also known to enjoy the occasional pulp detective comic, though he was once quoted as saying he only read them "on the crapper".
    --Rachel Danara

  • he read stone tablets and parchment scrolls, usually pornographic, (after all he did love the prostitutes)
    --Fitzgerald

  • Jesus' favorite reading material.......... What else but the Kama Sutra, because you KNOW that he didn't DIE a virgin. That's what Mary Magdalene was for.
    --Ronni

  • Hmmm... well, there are two obvious answers that present themselves. One, the Old Testament, since he was a good Jew and all, and he knew it well enough to spout it off to silence his antagonizers. But I also bet he liked to kick back with some good historical fiction, and maybe the Jewish equivalent of Aesop, because how else did he get all those parables to teach with?
    --Aerospamth

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