WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?)

• WWJD
  a haiku
  
  what would jesus do?
  piss off a bunch of Romans
  and get his ass nailed.
  -- Skoa
  
  
• What would Jesus do? Since the acronym is being sold on bracelets, t shirts, underwear, etc. at exorbitant prices, I think that Jesus would get really pissed off that his name is being used for mass marketing and capitalistic gain.
  -- Paul
  
  
• You wanna know what Jesus would do?!? Do you punk!?? Well I'll tell you! First he'll toss Snoopy's salad & then after that he'll get kinky with some spiked anal beads and thousand island dressing. He'll then turn on late night infommercials and bust his load all over his tv. And finally he'll lay back down in his oi goffick coffin till the sun goes down once again.
  --Goffick
  
  
• Laugh hysterically all the way to the bank!!
  --SailorV
  
  
• He'd rip that "WWJD" bracelet off of the person's arm and use it to tie off & shoot heroin with. Oh so goth!
  --Bryce Klepinger
  
  
• Hopefully he would have learned from his first experience and would do nothing because humanity fucks over those stupid enough to try and do something for humanity.
  --Grog12
  
  
• Well considering his earthly body is dead: Rot.
  --Lesley
  
  
• • Head-butt the Pope for messing up his teachings and that whole "Inquisition" affair."
  • Sue Various publishers for plajerizing his book.
  • Shiver when he saw representations of the tool of his assassination hanging from the necks of and decorating the temples of his "followers."
  • Make a lot of friends on the college campus with that "water to wine" trick
  • Shake his head and walk away, thoroughly disgusted with what his followers have done to the world.
  • Enjoy the "Jesus was Gother than you" page. ;)
  --Mr. Gone
  
  
• I heard this a while ago, and found it funny as all hell. Apparently, there were a certian kind of "WWJD?" necklaces..that were full of lead. They found this out when several people down in the south were getting sick. So apparently..Jesus would give everyone lead poisening.
  --UngodLies
  
  
• I think Jesus would be soooo embarrased by the quantity of just plain old bad music that is being put out there with his name on it. That's what Jesus would do. Just hide in a corner and suck his thumb, trying to block out the sound of so many Amy Grants singing his praises on a tv station that always has lines rolling through it. Imagine if someday Michael W. Smith wrote a song dedicated to you! How would you feel? You'd feel awful and horribly embarrased, that's how you'd feel.
  --Jennypher
  
  
• In His divine wisdom, He would go hang out in dens of inequity until the temptation to obey the Almighty God had passed.
  --XSpamarchy
  
  
• I don't know the answer to this question but my freinds and I have sat back many of times (after the christian kids giving the us Goths hell) and just ponder on the subject. Hopefully he'd pop the assholes in the mouth and send them straight to Hell. That would be pretty funny.
  --Amanda Forsythe
  
  
• He certainly wouldn't be living fat off of a bunch of self-cogragulatory wrist-bands.
  
  I love Jesus but those #@+holes are pissing me off.
  --LiveOaks
  
  
• Jesus wouldn't print up a bunch of fucking bracelets, t-shirts, or books! Christians have turned a nice vampire with a Bachus-complex (wedding an Cannan) and turned him into something he's not. Jesus would kick back with his goth friends, down a little merlot, then go visit the local graveyard and raise some friends.
  --Caleb Leland
  
  
• What would Jesus do? I dunno. But I do know that Jesus would not turn into one of those religious nut right wing Xtian youth clones who wear stupid, waaaay uncool t-shirts with the letters WWJD on them, just to let us know (as if we hadn't already figured it out) that they can't think for themselves. Jesus may have been gother than Hell (or at as goth as Hell) but his followers sure don't have much fashion sense.
  --Anna Blue
  
  
• ok, what would jesus do....about what situation?
  --EvilDolly
  
  
• jesus would jerk off to porno
  --Dark13Fate
  
  
• jesus would (and probably is as i write this) laugh his fucking ass off.
  --I1Rosebud
  
  
• Jesus would still love you. Though you have done nothing to deserve such affection and ,indeed, many would say you deserve the opposite, Jesus would even die a painful death for you. When He was on the cross suffering in pain He said "Father forgive them---for they know not what they do." And that is my prayer for you. You think this is all so cute and funny. You like the controversey and the shock value. You really have no idea what your'e doing. I pray that you will be brought to a place of recognition so that you will understand the magnitude of this. Eternity and inner peace are alot bigger than a cool web page.
  --Lucia
  
  
• Yes, there are a lot of people (read teenagers) wearing apparel with this acronym. I believe the only reasonable answer to "What Would Jesus Do?" is that he would be crucified and die--whatever the situation.
  
  Now, I think a more reasonable question is WWBD?--What Would the Buddha Do? He would probably laugh it off and go on his merry Golden Way.
  --Don E. Mann
  
  
• What would Jesus do? Probably try to persuade people not to wear those stupid bracelets. He advocated praying in secret, and keeping one's righteousness to oneself (one of the few things he supposedly said that I agree with).
  --Crowley316
  
  
• WWJD? Just lie there I suppose, being dead and all. Of course, by now much of the decomposing would have already taken it's toll so, perhaps, given a breeze, he might blow away except for the heavier bits such as teeth and the major bones. Worth pondering though.
  --MarkP
  
  
• 1. Go out and buy a goofy bracelet
  2. Go for what's behind Door Number Two!
  3. Whine and get nailed to a big piece of wood.
  --Louis P Melancon
  
  
• perform a few magic tricks, go on about ideals for living, and get nailed to a tree. that's what jesus would do.
  --Xerxes7
  
  
• What would Jesus do? Why, he'd hang there, of course. Other than that, I think it'd depend on when you mean. What would he do "back in the day," as they say? I think that's pretty much covered. He'd hang out with harlots, get nailed to a massive lower-case "T" by the Romans, confuse the living hell out of people with his crazy Jedi mind-tricks, get grotesquely misinterpreted, and more than likely smoke some wicked Jerusalem weed (even better than what you can get in an Amsterdam hash bar, or so I hear). Now, though, I think he'd bust into Christian Coalition HQ, pull some money-changers-in-the-temple action and show Ralph Reed and Pat Robertson who's really boss. Then he'd go live on TV and tell everyone that he'd like to clear some things up: pretty much that all the pushy, hate-mongering, oppressive, repressive nonsense that's been spewed forth in his name is pretty much a lot of just that: Nonsense. Then he'd open for Marilyn Manson on his next tour and sing backup vocals for Trent Reznor's 936th remix of "Head Like A Hole." At least, this is my theory.
  --Orpheus
  
  
• there is no anser to wwjd the bible tells us what he would do. oh and by the way JESUS WAS NOT A GOTH HE WAS THE SON OF GOD AND WORTH OF OUR PRAISE IT"S REAL SAID THAT HE STILL LOVES YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU DO ALL THIs
  --Dale Melnychuk
  
  
• Jesus would go and make a nice cup of tea. Especially around eleven o'clock - because it's elevenses! This is because Jesus was/is an anglophile, with a penchant for scones and cucumber sandwiches. Honest.
  --Alex Heal
  
  
• He wouldn't try to make money off preppie high-class suburbian pre-teen Christians by slapping his name on some cheap bracelets....
  --Kat
  
  
• Jesus would kick my ass.
  --Jermy421
  
  
• He would obviously get himself crucified....
  --Mistress Heather
  
  
• I think Jesus would take a long walk..Think about how much he can disrupt the nature of politics in the world then he would laugh and continue walking then realizing he is walking further from town and that's where all the Slit (Snatch,Pussy,Clit,Vagina,Kunny) is and turn around and walk back into town and Tongue Lash some Goth chick deserving some J.C LoVin..And then have a nice cold glass of RC Cola when he's finished..And that is what i think Jesus would do..
  -- MiKe (or better known as Jesus with a K..)
  
  
• • He would never have sex. And even if He did, it would be boring because it would be all orthodox. There would probably be only one position--missionary of course.
  • If someone were to slap him, he would turn the other cheek so it would get slapped also. No matter how persistent his oppressor would be, he would continue to do nothing and forgive the ingrate.
  • If someone were trying to kill him, he wouldn't even attempt to defend himself.
  • He would be kind and considerate to everyone no matter how inconsiderate, disrespectful, or hateful a person might be to Him.
  • He would give up all his material possessions to travel and spread God's Word.
  • If he had any money, He would only have enough for survival necessities, for any excess would be considered greed money.
  • God considers pride a sin and humbleness a virtue, so Jesus would not be into fashion at all. That is why his clothes were so plain.
  • He wouldn't smoke (desecrating the body temple).
  • He wouldn't drink alcohol (to drunkenness).
  • He was a vegetarian (before the Bible was changed to fit society), so He would not eat a dead animal corpse.
  • Gluttony is a sin, so He would never overeat.
  • He would judge people's worthiness.
  • If His parents regularly beat him black-and-blue and verbally, mentally, and sexually abused Him, he would honor them. Even if His parents deserved no honor at all, he would still honor them.
  • If He were driving a car, he would make room for anyone that wanted to get in front of Him. He would never get anywhere. He would never speed. He would come to complete stops at stop signs.
  • He would never have a good time. There is nothing fun in the Bible, let alone any example of Jesus having fun. He is portrayed as a humorless boring prude.
  -- Syn Holiday [email | www]

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